The Story of the Green Cast

Once upon a time there was a young (yep, I said young…stop snickering) woman who loved to ride her bike. Actually she loved to be outside, period. She ran outside, worked in the yard, hung out in the pool, took her dog for walks, and planted flowers. A sun bunny to the max (with sunscreen and a hat, of course). This woman enjoyed being active, getting stuff done, and marking tasks off her to-do list. She walked fast, talked fast, drove fast, made decisions fast…I’m sure you get it. The bruises on her shins made the point clear that moving quickly was a priority over moving carefully.

While enjoying her bike ride one beautiful morning in May a battle between bike and sidewalk ensued with the sidewalk emerging as the clear winner. After checking to ensure her teeth were in their appropriate spots and holding pressure on her busted lip, she was able to ride home. I’ll clear a couple of things up right off the bat for you: No she was not on a mountain. No there was not a mountain lion chasing her. No she was not rushing to perform CPR on a choking child. She was just moving…fast. Bicycle fail. User error. #nooneelsetoblame

Cue green cast. After three rounds of negative x-rays and no perceived improvement of left wrist, the MRI finally showed the fractured wrist bones. A crack so hard to see had gotten this fast girl a place on the bench.  As the cast was applied, the reality of the doctor’s words pierced my heart, “expect a 3 month recovery”.  “Expect a 3 month recovery”.  He repeated it at least three times, my face must have shown my disbelief.  I’d love to say my attitude was great from the start. I wish I could report a positive mindset and trust in God to use this time to produce good things in my life, but I’d be lying. Instead, I stewed, felt guilty, denied my situation, and stomped my feet around a bit. I pouted and stressed. I felt anxious and disappointed. I felt bored and useless. I felt stupid. I felt sad. For a couple of weeks, not hours.

My response to the situation led to some introspection that was overdue. God didn’t judge me or tell me I was stupid for having an accident, and He didn’t want me to dwell on those emotions. He didn’t get frustrated with my pouting and struggling as I tried to resolve the feelings I was experiencing on my own, He was just there. I love God. He is my Father. I am a long time committed follower of Jesus who enjoys a precious, personal, and saving relationship with Him. I knew He was there, I just wasn’t ready to sit still with just Him. But He didn’t leave. Mentally I really struggled with being still, not accomplishing. I wanted to “do”. I would wake up and think, “What am I going to do today?” “What can I accomplish today?” “How can I fill this time?” I was a broken record. I knew I needed to be still with God, but I had forgotten how. It sounds simple, but just stopping and physically sitting still does not necessarily mean that you are emotionally or mentally still…do you get what I’m saying? Being truly still and receptive to His voice is a discipline that I had allowed to fade away.

It has taken several weeks, but I am getting the hang of it. The perks include peace, joy, and rest. Nice replacements for stress, guilt, and anxiety! As I stopped talking and trying to “do” the right thing, I was able to listen. I was surprised to realize the focus of my life had become my two-day a week nursing position. Two 12-hour shifts had become king. Not having them created a void that shocked and dumb-founded me, I was used to having 5 days off every week, why was this such a jolt? I didn’t think I was defining my life by my job until my job wasn’t part of the equation anymore. My job provided my purpose, my social outlet, my mental challenge, and my excuse to be a hermit when I wasn’t at work. My job is a blessing and I realize that so much more now than ever before! I miss my job, my friends, and my patients, but I needed to get my priorities back their appropriate places in order to serve them best. I am grateful for my broken wrist. Not because it is so fun to wear a cast in June in AZ, but because I am excited about this time to reset my daily living. Work will be a part of my life, not the hub. Christ is the center, the cornerstone of my foundation. When I tried to put other things there, I felt the instability and relationships suffered. God didn’t push me off my bike, as much as I’d like to blame someone other than admit my own error. But He creates beauty out of every situation I give to him, He promises to do that for all His kids. “For we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them” (Romans 8:28, NLT).

If we set our pace by the world around us, we are not encouraged to be still or quiet. Rather, a hectic schedule and fast pace is equated with success and importance. Technology reigns and connects us to devices rather than people. It is so easy to get lost in the tasks and the “doing” and slip into auto-pilot mode. That lonely, empty place where we just function without much thought. A healthy lifestyle involves creating space for inactivity and rest. We all need space in our days to unplug and slow our roll. It has to be intentional or it won’t happen. We need time to process emotions and events in our lives. We need a time to slow our pace and hear about the people we share life with. We need to slow down to take care of ourselves and model this practice in front our kids. It is hard to carry on a conversation while you are sprinting…you know?

Here are some things I’ve been reminded of as I’ve been re-kindling my relationship with God and learning to be thankful for stillness and quiet. Be sill for just a moment and consider these thoughts:

• We benefit from coming to grips with enjoying free time and not feeling guilty. We need hobbies and ways to unplug and decompress, they are not a waste of time.
• We are not as important as we think we are. (Surprisingly, the staff at work continues to function even when I’m not able to be there…crazy, right?)
• We can relax and learn when we stop taking ourselves so seriously.
• Perfection is not the goal…pursuing it is a waste of time and energy. Choose to pursue realistic goals.
• Relationships are what life is about. Accomplishing tasks, mastering skills, making money…all good things, but relationships are most important. Relationships require a time investment and a mental presence to grow.
• A solid foundation is critical for resilience. A reset is possible when our foundation is solid. Pursuing a lifestyle that promotes mental, spiritual, emotional, and physical health is a great place to begin.
• We are going to fall. Getting up is optional. Get up.

The Grief Walk

As a nurse, I experience many emotions with families that cross my path. The spectrum involved in one day can sometimes be dizzying and is often exhausting. The powerful emotions surrounding loss can easily overwhelm even the most veteran nurses when tragic loss arrives during a “normal” work day, unannounced and uninvited. A chaplain offers a prayer, nurses gather to cry and hug, and then the serving resumes. We proceed through our shifts and appear to be unscathed…but loss always leaves a mark, whether acknowledged or not. The grieving process is the healing process. As nurses we talk through our losses. We manage them alone at night while the rest of the world sleeps. The goal being to walk all the way through the grief and experience healing that can then ignite deeper compassion and nursing care that promotes true health and wellness for our patients as well as ourselves.

Our response to loss initiates an extensive ripple effect through our lives. It is worth acknowledging and discussing. I think people don’t understand how many losses are really experienced throughout life. Things that we may think are “just a part of life” create losses/wounds that need to be grieved. It is easier to disregard the impact of loss then to address the emotions of these difficult times. Left alone, these emotions destroy us. They build up and become distorted and impact us physically, emotionally, spiritually, and mentally. However, when we are willing to grieve and walk through the pain and out on the other side, we transform a gaping wound to a small scar. We can lift our heads and embrace a new normal.

So why have I brought up such an uplifting topic? My work allows me to see new life coming into the world every shift, and I wonder what lies ahead for these small miracles that have landed in this family called the human race. Hatred seems to be growing like a forest fire after a drought and I have to wonder…is this a ripple from grief and loss that have not been healed but rather passed down through generations? When the response to tragedy is finding someone to blame…a seed of hatred is planted. When the response to loss is jealousy of others who haven’t experienced that same loss…seeds of contempt and entitlement are planted. When the response to loss is isolation and self-pity…seeds of bitterness and resentment are planted. Destructive coping skills can impact families through generations and create deep chasms of pain in stone hearts. These hearts turn into nations imploding.

Loss is a given, but grieving and healing are choices and not mandatory. When we acknowledge our feelings and our grief, we are accepting the hurt and pain that come from the healing process. We must be vulnerable and welcome uncertainty and that is not in our comfort zone. However, the beauty is that as we journey, we grow and develop new skills. We meet others that reach back to aid us in our assent. And we stop the bleeding and heal. Then we can turn around and extend a hand to others with soft hearts and eyes filled with tenderness instead of hatred. I have walked a few roads that involved extreme loss and I have many scars. These times were dark, heavy, and oppressive. I would not want to experience them again. But the emotional stamina, faith, strength, confidence, hope, and clarity of thinking that I have today were all developed and nurtured during the grief walks of my life. Now, my scars offer common ground when others that are hurting. Ripples of empathy and non-judgmental kindness instead of hatred, bitterness, and pain are the result.

Take a moment and think about losses you have experienced. Some will be enormous, like loss of trust or control from an abusive situation or loss of a loved one or wayward child. Some may seem insignificant like the loss of a pet or a friend moving away. All loss leaves a mark. When kids move away we experience loss. When we retire there are losses to address. When loved ones pass and there are no answers, the loss is immense. We all experience loss and must choose our responses carefully.

I pray for you today as you read this blog. My journey has led me to a deep faith in God that sustains me each day. I know that He can be trusted and is my unwavering foundation of security no matter what losses come my way. Maybe I just lost you there. Maybe you have been hurt by something that happened to you at church or someone’s actions who said they were a Christian. I understand and I truly am sorry. My prayer is that you take it up with God. His shoulders are big enough and He can handle even the most rambunctious human heart. This is encouragement for healing, a hand reaching back, an acknowledgment of need. Please stop the bleeding and find rest and peace.

 

 

“May the words of my mouth and the thoughts of my heart be pleasing to you, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer” (Psalm 19:14, New Living Translation)

 

 

 

 

 

Stress Management…just do it

What Stress?

Work, family, relationships, finances, illness, change…the variety of ways stress comes into
our lives presents us all with a challenge. There is no one way to reduce and manage stress. But, it is universally accepted that less stress is better. So, the first important step is identification. You can’t fix what you don’t acknowledge. You know you feel it, just identify and accept what causes stress for you. Don’t worry about if it would cause stress for someone else or if you believe it is less stressful and worthy of attention than what someone else may be experiencing. Your life, your stress, and your job to handle it. Own it and then you can fix it. Identify each stress and your response.

Good stressors, like a promotion or a new baby, are still stressors. Negative stressors, like hectic schedules or holding grudges, need attention. Internal stressors, such as striving for perfection, must be managed. External stressors, such as deadlines at work, must be given an outlet. We need positive and effective coping skills to enjoy physical, emotional, & mental wellness. The first step is identifying what is stressing you. The next step is identifying what you can do to reduce & manage your stress.

Just do it

We all know the top tips for managing stress I bet. Get enough sleep, eat right, exercise, meditate/pray, play, take time for yourself…blah, blah, blah. That is what you expect me to say, right? Well, I’d love to report that I have new information and there is now a pill. You can take this pill and your stress will be relieved; you will sail through adversity without a tight muscle or added pound; you will glide through 17 dance, gymnastic, and soccer practices a week, help with homework, and still prepare healthy meals with a smile and a hug; and you can immediately dismiss hurt feelings and apologize to your spouse without shedding a tear! Ummmmm…not gonna happen! Here’s the truth: in this life there will be trouble (John 16:33), we will have stress, good and bad, and we get to decide if we manage stress or if stress gets to call all the shots, even determining our health. So just do it.

So, as your friendly u.b.healthy coach and mentor, I’d like to gently encourage you to pay attention! Today is the day to make changes and decrease the impact of stress on your physical body as well as your mental health. The stress level you live with impacts not only you, but everyone around you. (As does your effective or not-so-effective set of coping skills) None of us get to try today over again…this is it. This is not like Solitaire where you can play and then hit the button to “replay this game” now that you see the correct moves. The impact of stress is very real inside our bodies and chronic stress is very damaging in the short-term as well as the long-term. It is time for us to take stress management seriously and enjoy our lives more each and every day.

Usually I try to stay positive in my approach here, but I feel the need to help us all identify some poor and ineffective coping habits regularly on display all around us:

• Denial/Suppression
• Isolation
• Procrastination
• Indulging addictions (food, alcohol, shopping, gambling, drugs, etc.)
• Ranting/Rage

I’m sure this list is not exhaustive, but it covers a lot of the most common “fails”. These strategies create more stress and perpetuate dysfunction in our lives. Procrastination is probably the culprit if you read this and say to yourself, “this is true, I do need to manage stress differently”, and then get up and get a snack.

Change is a choice and is often difficult. These types of ineffective coping skills were probably modeled in our homes and are reinforced daily everywhere we look. But making changes in how we manage stress has enormous rewards. Rewards for us personally, our families, and our co-workers. So, yes, I’m encouraging you to slow down, take time for yourself, eat a healthy and balanced diet, exercise, enjoy being outside, breathe deeply, meditate, pray, spend time with friends, have fun, laugh, play, sleep, eliminate grudges and comparisons to others, and share with trusted friends the concerns on your heart. Take time to share, but also to listen, to advice from people who know you, love you, and have your best interest at heart. This is your one shot at today, don’t just wish it was over, decide to enjoy it.

“Don’t underestimate the value of Doing Nothing, of just going along, listening to all the things you can’t hear, and not bothering.” – Winnie the Pooh

 

Healthy Lifestyle vs. Diet Plan

Oh my goodness, my heart breaks when I hear friends that are discouraged and depressed when diets are embarked upon and then abandoned. The feelings of guilt and self-degradation are useless and yet overwhelming. The self talk becomes damaging and discouraging. Self-esteem plummets and self-loathing moves in. This does not need to happen, it is not helpful or productive. There is a better way and I plead with you to read these words and take them to heart. A healthy lifestyle includes room for desserts and vegetables, physical activity and rest and relaxation, fun and hard work, protein and carbohydrates! Diet plans restrict and offer merely a band-aid, but a healthy lifestyle frees and brings long-term success. There is no comparison…a healthy lifestyle is the only way to lose weight and keep it off, maintain a healthy weight, create balance, joy, health, and wellness for you and your family.

It seems a new and improved diet plan shows up every day. Headlines boast: Follow these 15 simple rules and you will reap the benefits of “easy” weight loss, non-stop fat-burning while you sleep, unlimited energy, and detoxed cells…and they’ll even throw in happiness, whiter teeth, and a group of slim, energetic friends. Seriously, anytime you see the word easy next to weight loss…stop reading! Weight loss and weight management take hard work, period. Weight management is not a temporary mission or a destination, it is a journey.

Women, seriously, please stop the beatings! We must change our focus to healthy living instead of striving for perfect bodies. This is such a passion of mine. I have lived for years in bondage to food and perfectionism, I was never thin enough, good enough, disciplined enough, smart enough…you get the picture I’m sure. I understand the trap and I also understand the depression, discouragement, and hopelessness that comes with yo-yo dieting and failing time and time again. It is ok if you don’t love broccoli. It is ok if you have chocolate every day. It is ok if you “just” take a walk after dinner for your exercise that day. It is ok! You are ok! Just keep taking steps forward and use your head. If something seems too good to be true it probably is bunk. If someone says you can lose weight without changing your diet, it is bunk! If your self-talk says you are a failure and you’ll never change, preach truth to yourself–you are unique and valuable and the only one that can offer the world you! Simple things like portion control, desserts in moderation instead of three times a day, and adding more veggies and more water to your day will help you in your journey to better health and weight loss. Please stop wasting time looking for the quick fix…there isn’t one, that is a path to discouragement.

Start today to live a healthy lifestyle. Eat a healthy and balanced diet. Take time to relax, rest, and sleep. Enjoy the relationships you have in your life and laugh, smile, and play. Eliminate extra clutter in your schedule and spend more time creating in your kitchen, taking walks and bike rides as a family, and noticing the sunset. Take care of yourself! Get to the doctor to have your physical, have lunch with a trusted friend, share life and be genuine. These are the keys to a healthy lifestyle and will result in a life that is full and breeds contentment. You can do it and you will thrive! Spend your energy and your money on creating a healthy lifestyle…the benefits are endless.

 

Chaos…BUT God

I woke up early this morning. My mind was busy processing the events of an insanely crazy shift at work yesterday. Anyone else relate? As a nurse, frequently shifts are chaotic and busy, but yesterday was different. As the shift started with a stressful and emotional crisis, we then moved from crisis to crisis, it was a day that seemed to move in fast-forward while being paused all at the same time. Our minds raced as we attempted to keep up with the needs put in our laps. BUT…(there’s always a big but) God was there.

I woke up this morning overwhelmed and humbled by the circumstances I participated in yesterday. Tears flowed as the emotion was finally able to come to the surface and be felt. The time for intense focus has passed and today, on this day off, the time for reflection is here. Reflection today inspires humility and gratitude. My God is big! His promises are for real. It is o.k. to trust Him, He is trustworthy.

As you may be wondering what transpired, I can’t really say due to patient confidentiality and the like, but please continue reading as I take a few moments to focus you in on the important details. #1 Be grateful. As you go through your day today, know that there are people who have studied and persevered through trials and difficulties to become experienced to serve you should you have a medical crisis. As I assembled with a team preparing for a critical arrival yesterday, I looked around the room and was humbled and in awe. Dedicated people, a wide range of knowledge bases, different ages, cultures, races, religious beliefs with one goal…service. Later as I dressed to attend an emergent c-section delivery, again I looked around the room in awe…same scenario, different floor. I am in awe and humbled to be a part of the medical field. Not perfect by any means, but devoted to compassionate care? yes.

#2 God is trustworthy. For years I tried desperately to get out of nursing. I spent the first decade of my career terrified that I would miss something and someone would be injured or worse. As my faith was wobbly I did not understand where the peace could come from when I knew that tragic events happened to Godly people. It seemed that God was wild and unpredictable, how could I rest and accept his word that he would protect my patients and me? Over time God has shown me that my perspective was misdirected. While I was focused on my performance, anxiety and worry overwhelmed my daily life. Yesterday was confirmation to me in so many ways that God is faithful and trustworthy. As circumstances were intense, I had the ability to see God’s hand moving and going before me because I was focused on Him. The emergencies still happened…BUT God was there. The loss was still real…BUT God was there. I still had to work and endure a draining day emotionally, physically, and mentally…BUT God was there. He provided the people who needed to be there. He provided extra hands that were a bonus. He provided opportunities to laugh amidst the seriousness. He provided opportunities for me to love, touch, and minister to hurting people. He went before me, with me, and continues to be involved in each scenario even though I have moved on to this day. He is amazing and you can trust him.

#3 Jump In. Over the past couple months a transformation has been happening in my mind and heart. I finally kicked fear to the curb and told God, “alright, I’m 100% in. I surrender and give you my whole life…now what?” It has been amazing! Idols are getting obliterated as I have eliminated my addiction to Diet Coke and also food. Addictions that have ruled for at least 30 years (wow I’m old). The weight has dropped off as I’ve accepted his plan for me which encompasses taking care of the blessings he has given me, including a body that can work and move. I have learned that I must still work hard physically, emotionally, and mentally, but his help and strength are real things when I stay close to him. And my biggest take away from yesterday is the blessing of being in at 100% when the rubber hits the road and circumstances and challenging…being a vessel for God’s love and mercy to others is amazing. Being able to serve others and focus on them instead of me and my weaknesses allows me to enjoy God working in the situation because I am freed up to see Him. It allows me to lay down my pride and need for approval and just be a piece of His glorious plan being fulfilled. He offers abundant living and it happens when I jump head first and remain focused on my role…which is surrender to Him. He has all the heavy lifting in this relationship!

Over the past couple years I have been growing in my trust in God. He has been faithful to show up and speak to me through his word, during my quiet times with him, and through other people too. As I’ve sought help with anxiety and fear, He has shown me the steps needed to overcome these very common obstacles. Surrender. Accept. Trust. Receive. These are the steps and they work every time. This year as I have a goal to stop striving for anything else before Him, I am living in freedom in a new way that is exhilarating. I share with you today because my heart is full and I am so thankful to see His powerful hand at work in the my small piece of the puzzle. The God who knows the number of
grains of sand on every beach just because he can and designs the sunrise and sunset every day in a glorious display no matter who is paying attention because He is worthy of glory and praise…this is the God that was present with little, insignificant me yesterday, all day, moving and working as I bumped into people who needed help. Amazing.

“Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will know what God wants you to do, and you will know how good and pleasing and perfect his will really is” (Romans 12:2, New Living Translation). 

Dream: Go For It!

Dreaming 

A new year with new opportunities for fresh plans and goals. Unfortunately, this is also prime time for unrealistic expectations that can lead us down the road to frustration, disappointment, and yet another hit to the self-esteem. As the infomercials and gym fliers attack, pause and figure out what you really need and want for 2016.

Dream a little bit. What would you really like to see happen in 2016? I don’t mean win the lottery! I mean, what goals are you willing to fight for, sacrifice for, and come out of your comfort zone for…because that is the goal you want to put in the cross-hairs.

Patience 

Whatever goal is your focus, be patient. Much easier said than done! Habits are hard to change, but not impossible! The formula is consistency and time; we must be dedicated to transformation.

I recently heard a tip that I thought was phenomenal. We need to stop listening to ourselves and start talking to ourselves.  We need to be patient and understand that it takes time to change those negative tapes that run in the background of our minds, but we can challenge them and preach truth to ourselves and with perseverance, we can change.

The Pit of Comfort

I am a queen of justification! Who’s with me? I can always come up with “legitimate” reasons why I “need” something that I want. And, we seem to be quick to help each other justify actions counter to our goals too! Why is it so tempting to lure ourselves and others off the path of discipline that leads to success? My guess is that fear often drives that bus. Fear of failure, fear of expectations, fear of giving up vices, fear of disapproval of others, fear of discomfort…fear is huge. All of these fears add to the trouble we experience leaving our pit of comfort…whatever that pit looks like for us. You may be surprised what pit you are choosing to hang out in. Maybe you have set up house in a body that is too large because you believe it is shielding you from pain or fear. Maybe you cuddle with negative attitudes and depression buying into the lie that you don’t deserve anything else due to leftovers from past hurts or failed relationships. Maybe your soft landing is a pile of excuses you have claimed as truth as to why you can’t change fueled by smoldering crash landings from former attempts. Our justifications keep us in our comfort zone that is really more like a strait jacket. We believe we are protecting ourselves, but in reality we are hiding and hindering growth and maturity and abundant living.

A big pit of comfort for me has always been Diet Coke. As a teenager it was an allowable pleasure in my strict and conservative home, it didn’t have any calories so if fit in with my crazed eating habits, and it became a friend for when I felt down or wanted a treat. It never asked anything of me and it was consistent and unchanging. That habit grew over the years into a powerful force in my life, becoming an immovable part of schedules and budgets. This has been my reality but I am staring it down in 2016!

What is your “Diet Coke”? What is that thing that you are absolutely unwilling to give up even though you know it is not in your best interest? That my friend is where you need to aim your weapons to begin true transformation. There is a reason you cling to it, an attachment that is larger than just the object of your desire, your idol. Figure that out and you are on your way to meeting goals and creating the lifestyle you really want.

My challenge to you as this new year begins, is to find goals that challenge comfort. For me this means no more Diet Coke, yep, I’m done. As I talked this over with my husband to ensure he was willing to support my whiny and probably irritable transition, he asked me a valuable question: “have you thought about what you will replace it with?” Any plan for change must include survival strategies that are realistic. I can drink coffee and tea to ease the transition off of caffeine, but the reality is that I don’t want to replace the idol that Diet Coke became. I have accepted that this will be uncomfortable and I am determined to learn though the discomfort and embrace it instead of run from it. I pray and meditate when the cravings are strong. I speak truth to myself about the cravings, what do I really want…peace, relief, rest…Diet Coke doesn’t meet any of those needs! It is about being honest with our realities and being willing to be uncomfortable in order to achieve the lifestyle of health and freedom that we really desire. One of my favorite quotes from Jillian Michaels is “Get comfortable with being uncomfortable”. Dream big friends and achieve lasting success by stepping outside of your comfort zone!

“For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so that we can do the good things he planned for us long ago” (Ephesians 2:10, NLT).

 

A Doggie-sized hole

 

  Today I am feeling a doggie-sized hole in my heart. At the end of December we had to say goodbye to our dear, sweet Sadie girl. Sadie became a part of our family when she was six weeks old and lived 12 full and cuddly years. Sadie struggled with ridiculous allergies and degenerative arthritis. She had been deaf for several years and had almost completely lost her vision this year. I know it was time to let her rest, but as is always the case, the ones left behind must work through the emptiness.

Even though it has been several days since we said good-bye, today is different. Today I am home alone, doing school work, and the house is quiet. Tom is back to work, both boys have moved out now, and I am alone. As I sit here missing the sound of her breathing on the rug behind me where she would always lay as I worked, I am in awe of the love that she expressed without words. Unlike Disney movies, Sadie could not speak in words, but she did clearly love us. A love that we can all learn from. Here are a few things that have come to my attention today:

Sadie was present. Even though her body struggled the last several years with getting up and laying down, it didn’t stop her from always being where we were. Even if I just got up to go the kitchen for a drink and she was sound asleep, somehow she would know I had left and follow along.

Sadie was paying attention. Dogs have this uncanny way of knowing the day of the week and the schedule of the home where they live, have you ever noticed that? Sadie could tell when it was Saturday and would nervously anticipate her clipping and bath time. She knew when each of us was due home and would wait at the garage door. Even on the day when we took her to her final appointment, Tom and I were amazed that she knew we were going somewhere and she knew she was going too. We did not understand her keen senses, but I can tell you this, we were her focus and she payed attention so that she wouldn’t miss a moment to be with us.

Sadie was loyal. We brought Sadie into our home when we did because we felt the boys needed a loving companion to grow up with. We researched for dog breeds that would be good with families, friendly, loving, and loyal. We nailed it. Sadie from day one longed to be with the boys. Again in a way only she could, she knew them, their needs and how to comfort them. TJ taught her to walk on a leash and to obey his commands and she willingly learned and obeyed because she loved him. Curtis would often have to get up during his guitar playing and open his door and let her in because she just wanted to be near him.

I could go on, but I need to get busy with school work! I just wanted to talk about her for a few minutes. I miss her. I want to learn from her kind of love. I want to be present for the people in my life and that I come in contact with daily. I want to pay attention in order to see the needs of those around me. And I want to a loyal wife, mother, friend, co-worker, sister, and daughter. Probably one of the biggest lessons for me is to remember that it doesn’t take words. When things happen in our lives or the lives of the people around us, we don’t have to have the right words to say. We can show how much we love them by just consistently being there.

 

 

Not so Normal Night

Ordinary People — Extraordinary Plan

The Christmas message is about a bunch of ordinary people involved in an extraordinary story. Sometimes I think it is easy for us to read the story of Jesus’ birth and imagine that the other characters in the story were set apart and different in some way, or we just don’t think about them at all. Well, I’d like to focus in for a moment on the shepherds.

If you were arranging the arrival of a king, would you be sure and notify a bunch of dusty, ordinary guys who care for stinky sheep? And not just send them a text message, but send a choir of angels? Well, God thought it was a great idea. One of my favorite parts of the Christmas story is thinking about what that night was like for the shepherds. “That night some shepherds were in the fields outside the village, guarding their flocks of sheep” (Luke 2:8, NLT). Ok, stop for a minute and set the picture in your mind. Just a routine shift, nothing new to see here, just a bunch of dirty, lazy sheep, watching out for predators, counting stars, trying not to freeze…” Suddenly, an angel of the Lord appeared among them, and the radiance of the Lord’s glory surrounded them. They were terribly frightened, but the angel reassured them. “Don’t be afraid!” he said. I bring you good news of great joy for everyone. The Savior—yes, the Messiah, the Lord—has been born tonight in Bethlehem, the city of David!” ~pause~ If you aren’t very familiar with the Bible, just know that these men would have heard prophecies of the Messiah coming since they were little boys. That history in conjunction with the angel and radiance of God all over the place had to be quite a spectacle!  ~play~ Then, after giving instructions on how to find the Messiah–Baby Jesus, “Suddenly, the angel was joined by a vast host of others—the armies of Heaven—praising God: “Glory to God in the highest heaven, and peace on earth to all whom God favors” (Luke 2:13-14). Imagine for a moment the glorious sound and sight that those shepherds witnessed! The shepherds decide to take the advice of the host of angels (good plan) and go to find baby Jesus in a manger in Bethlehem, sharing their beautiful experience all along the way. These men were shepherds, ordinary people doing ordinary things who were suddenly and gloriously interrupted by a host of angels…way cool!

So, what does this have to do with living a healthy lifestyle? Well, it is important to remember that God shows up in the lives of ordinary people. And He didn’t just whisper to the shepherds, he organized a very unique invitation for them to celebrate in the birth of Jesus Christ, the arrival of the Messiah. I imagine the shepherds felt pretty special after all that went down. A new identity perhaps? A new God-sent-angels-to-the-field-to-talk-to-me kind of identity. Enjoying a healthy lifestyle includes a solid understanding of identity and value. So often we get caught up in trying to solidify our identity and value by trying to please others, comparing ourselves to others, or striving to meet unrealistic expectations. Unfortunately, the holiday season is prime time for these kinds of pressures to escalate. Remember, your value comes from being a creation of the most-high God and has nothing to do with the number on the scale, the color of your hair, the number of children you have, how fit you are, the job you have, or if you have been acknowledged by Forbes magazine!

Maybe you haven’t been visited by a host of angels, but God did send Jesus for you. “For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life. God did not send his Son into the world to condemn it, but to save it” (John 3:16-17, NLT). And we get to experience reminders of God’s love all around us every day. We don’t live in a bland world, we live in a world full of sights, sounds, smells, and touches, and we have the capacity to enjoy it all. Seeing familiar smiles to greet you, birds flying in formation, 15 shades of pink in the sunset…yep, that’s for you. Hearing orchestra concerts, ocean waves crashing, babies cooing…all for you to enjoy. Smelling fresh baked cookies, Grandma’s perfume, wood burning fire, pine needles…you guessed it, all for you. Experiencing hugs, warm coffee soothing your throat, puppy tongues licking your cheeks, a hot bath or steamy shower…all for your pleasure because you are loved.

Banish thoughts of creating the “perfect” Christmas for your kids and just savor the season, even if it is filled with sniffly noses and crazy relatives. Relieve the pressure and take in the brisk air, the twinkly lights, and the festive music and be grateful for the ability to do so. Rest in the reality that you are perfectly created by God and he loves you.

Have a Merry Christmas!

Lessons from Jury Duty

The Big Picture

Over and over I chant that a healthy lifestyle is about so much more than just diet and exercise. It is so much more than just maintaining a healthy weight or logging in time with a heartrate above 150. A healthy lifestyle includes healthy habits in every area of your life: mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually.

Sometimes life is insane and there is no time to go to the gym…maybe that is your reality. Sometimes physical ailments or conditions limit your diet or your ability to lose weight. Sometimes your circumstances make stress inevitable and emotionally you are wrung out.

This is life and we all understand!

But this is why a healthy lifestyle is so important.

When you zoom out and take in the big picture of your life, you need to know what you are standing on when everything else is crumbles. What is your foundation? For me, my personal relationship with Christ is first and my healthy lifestyle that is a scaffolding of healthy coping skills, solid and trustworthy relationships, and physical endurance and stamina are the second line of defense.  It takes time and effort to build a solid defense! Zoom out on your life for a moment…how’s your line of defense looking? Are there areas that need support and attention?  Today is the day to begin!

What I learned from Jury Duty

I usually wait until I get inspired to write a blog. Inspiration was not coming and I was tired and struggling to feel qualified to discuss healthy living! But then yesterday inspiration came in a form I did not expect…jury duty.

For me, situations that are unfamiliar are uncomfortable and stressful. So, I attempted to help myself in every way that I could to relax: prayer, packed snacks, detailed driving instructions and plenty of time, and a good night’s sleep. So off I went. Bumper to bumper traffic for 60 minutes is not a fun way to begin a day…just saying. *perspective* I arrived at 9 am, checked in as a prospective juror and began what I thought would be a day filled with reading and waiting to be released. After viewing 40 minutes of required videos about our legal system and all the moving pieces, *perspective* I settled in…only to be called in the very first group to the staging area. 60 of us were herded like cattle through many winding hallways and elevators leading to more hallways. Instructions were rapid and hard to hear with “don’t” being a repetitive theme. Then we waited. Standing in single file, numerical order lines, we waited. I was #30. People of all different ages, races, socioeconomic levels, and physical ability waiting obediently to find out if we would be assigned to the jury for a trial we now knew would be 6-7 days! *perspective* To make a long story short, hours and hours went by in a small court room listening to people’s lives and situations as the jury selection process unfolded. All the while watching the defendant, and the group of lawyers examine each one of us and take notes if we spoke. *perspective* I finally was dismissed at 5:15pm, understanding that a large group of jurors were required to return the next day to complete the process. *perspective* Upon exiting the shuttle that took me back to the parking garage and finding my car, I began the trek home…you guessed it, bumper to bumper traffic for 60 minutes (in my car that is a clutch no less). Arriving at 6:30 pm the couch and quiet were welcome friends!

So, what inspiration came from all of that?  Perspective is important and needs to continually be challenged. We tend to get so involved in our own lives that we neglect to consider that other people have very different lives. But how is this related to healthy living? Well, attitude is a big player in how we deal with stress and how we respond to our circumstances. Pity parties and victim mentalities are destructive and paralyzing. Perspective is one way to ensure your attitude is appropriate, helpful, and healthy. As I stood and waiting for hours yesterday, my head pounded and my mind struggled with the idea of the potential time commitment this trial would require if I was selected. The inspiration came as I evaluated my own life with new perspective. As I type, there are people in the court room again today and there will be tomorrow too. Each life impacted by what is required to keep our justice system as fair as possible. Each judge, lawyer, clerk, security guard, and janitor working to promote the process that protects the freedoms we are blessed to enjoy. Zoom out a bit today my friends and take in the bigger picture around you. Find things to be thankful for and embrace the challenges you face with new energy and understanding. Find small things that bring you joy and hug the people you love. Challenge your perspective today…we are blessed!

“You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you.” Isaiah 26:3

There is hope!

Today I am feeling blessed. Today I want you to know Jesus like I do. Today I want to shout from the rooftop that Jesus is the answer, a wonderful counselor, beautiful savior, and glorious Lord. I don’t feel these things because my life is perfect…far from it actually. I feel these things because I have read that they are true in the Bible, and I have lived through many crisis times, boring times, happy times, just life times and have experienced that Jesus’ love is the best gift I ever have gotten and ever will get. There is just nothing like it, period. People will be fickle. Money will never satisfy. Health will fail. Life will end. Relationships will disappoint. Whatever this world tells us is important is merely dust in the wind. But there is hope.

There is hope because Jesus came to this world. He understands our existence as one of us. And he died in our place. God is holy and we are not, so there is this impassable chasm between us. Jesus took our blame and became the payment for our sins so we can have a relationship with God. Grace. Free and available to all who want it. Why, because God loves us.

Maybe today you are feeling angry at God for something you have gone through or are currently experiencing. Maybe today you read these words and remember church people who were hypocrites and it stirs up bad memories. Maybe you just think it is dumb. Maybe you don’t understand and don’t believe there even is a God that created everything. I don’t know where you are as you read these words today, but I’m thankful you are reading them. God is not afraid of having a bad reputation. He is God and He knows he is the sovereign creator of the universe. He is not over-confident or uppity, He is God…there is no other like him. He needs no helper, no social security, and no identity-theft protection.

God is the same yesterday, today, and forever…security for eternity. You don’t have to wonder if he will love you or be faithful, he can’t help it, he is holy and he is God. You don’t have to “be good”, whatever that means, and you can’t do enough to merit his favor.

Why this soapbox today after months of silence on the blog? I’m not sure really, but someone must need these words today because I can’t help but write them. I pray the truth in them will change hearts and lives. God is the only one that can do that, he is truth, he is love.

Life with Jesus is not all chocolate and roses. Life is still life. The difference is hope. And help. I can’t imagine life without Jesus. He is my constant companion, my sounding board, my security, my confidence, my protector, my strength, my salvation, and my smile. He promises in his word to never leave me or forsake me and he is faithful yesterday, today, and forever. He has been there when the sorrow and pain have nearly taken my breath away and enabled me to stand again. He has been there when the day is just a day and enabled me to continue on. And he has been there when celebration and joy overwhelm my heart and shown me his love. He is there…always.

Just today I was reading Psalm 139. He knows us, every thought, every fiber of our being, and he loves us. I know there is a lot of pain in the world. Lots of confusion, fear, doubt, and anger all around. Lots of people saying there is no hope and we are all doomed. Others saying they know how to solve the problems. But just know, there is hope and you can have it, you can know him. You don’t have to understand it today, you can just call on the name of Jesus and ask him to open your eyes to who he is and to soften your heart to his voice. He loves you.