Chaos…BUT God

I woke up early this morning. My mind was busy processing the events of an insanely crazy shift at work yesterday. Anyone else relate? As a nurse, frequently shifts are chaotic and busy, but yesterday was different. As the shift started with a stressful and emotional crisis, we then moved from crisis to crisis, it was a day that seemed to move in fast-forward while being paused all at the same time. Our minds raced as we attempted to keep up with the needs put in our laps. BUT…(there’s always a big but) God was there.

I woke up this morning overwhelmed and humbled by the circumstances I participated in yesterday. Tears flowed as the emotion was finally able to come to the surface and be felt. The time for intense focus has passed and today, on this day off, the time for reflection is here. Reflection today inspires humility and gratitude. My God is big! His promises are for real. It is o.k. to trust Him, He is trustworthy.

As you may be wondering what transpired, I can’t really say due to patient confidentiality and the like, but please continue reading as I take a few moments to focus you in on the important details. #1 Be grateful. As you go through your day today, know that there are people who have studied and persevered through trials and difficulties to become experienced to serve you should you have a medical crisis. As I assembled with a team preparing for a critical arrival yesterday, I looked around the room and was humbled and in awe. Dedicated people, a wide range of knowledge bases, different ages, cultures, races, religious beliefs with one goal…service. Later as I dressed to attend an emergent c-section delivery, again I looked around the room in awe…same scenario, different floor. I am in awe and humbled to be a part of the medical field. Not perfect by any means, but devoted to compassionate care? yes.

#2 God is trustworthy. For years I tried desperately to get out of nursing. I spent the first decade of my career terrified that I would miss something and someone would be injured or worse. As my faith was wobbly I did not understand where the peace could come from when I knew that tragic events happened to Godly people. It seemed that God was wild and unpredictable, how could I rest and accept his word that he would protect my patients and me? Over time God has shown me that my perspective was misdirected. While I was focused on my performance, anxiety and worry overwhelmed my daily life. Yesterday was confirmation to me in so many ways that God is faithful and trustworthy. As circumstances were intense, I had the ability to see God’s hand moving and going before me because I was focused on Him. The emergencies still happened…BUT God was there. The loss was still real…BUT God was there. I still had to work and endure a draining day emotionally, physically, and mentally…BUT God was there. He provided the people who needed to be there. He provided extra hands that were a bonus. He provided opportunities to laugh amidst the seriousness. He provided opportunities for me to love, touch, and minister to hurting people. He went before me, with me, and continues to be involved in each scenario even though I have moved on to this day. He is amazing and you can trust him.

#3 Jump In. Over the past couple months a transformation has been happening in my mind and heart. I finally kicked fear to the curb and told God, “alright, I’m 100% in. I surrender and give you my whole life…now what?” It has been amazing! Idols are getting obliterated as I have eliminated my addiction to Diet Coke and also food. Addictions that have ruled for at least 30 years (wow I’m old). The weight has dropped off as I’ve accepted his plan for me which encompasses taking care of the blessings he has given me, including a body that can work and move. I have learned that I must still work hard physically, emotionally, and mentally, but his help and strength are real things when I stay close to him. And my biggest take away from yesterday is the blessing of being in at 100% when the rubber hits the road and circumstances and challenging…being a vessel for God’s love and mercy to others is amazing. Being able to serve others and focus on them instead of me and my weaknesses allows me to enjoy God working in the situation because I am freed up to see Him. It allows me to lay down my pride and need for approval and just be a piece of His glorious plan being fulfilled. He offers abundant living and it happens when I jump head first and remain focused on my role…which is surrender to Him. He has all the heavy lifting in this relationship!

Over the past couple years I have been growing in my trust in God. He has been faithful to show up and speak to me through his word, during my quiet times with him, and through other people too. As I’ve sought help with anxiety and fear, He has shown me the steps needed to overcome these very common obstacles. Surrender. Accept. Trust. Receive. These are the steps and they work every time. This year as I have a goal to stop striving for anything else before Him, I am living in freedom in a new way that is exhilarating. I share with you today because my heart is full and I am so thankful to see His powerful hand at work in the my small piece of the puzzle. IMG_0546 (2)The God who knows the number of
grains of sand on every beach just because he can and designs the sunrise and sunset every day in a glorious display no matter who is paying attention because He is worthy of glory and praise…this is the God that was present with little, insignificant me yesterday, all day, moving and working as I bumped into people who needed help. Amazing.

“Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will know what God wants you to do, and you will know how good and pleasing and perfect his will really is” (Romans 12:2, New Living Translation). 

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3 Responses

  1. Jodi, What an incredible sharing of your heart and experience! I can just imagine His wing of wisdom, comfort & love that He obviously poured through you! your post was a blessing to me!

    Love you dear one! Mama K

  2. Thought-provoking, inspiring, and helpful. Thank you.

  3. Reblogged this on Night Songs and commented:
    Overwhelmed, stressed, living in the fast lane? A pediatric intensive care nurse shares her insanely busy day and how God keeps her going.

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