Dream: Go For It!

Dreaming 

A new year with new opportunities for fresh plans and goals. Unfortunately, this is also prime time for unrealistic expectations that can lead us down the road to frustration, disappointment, and yet another hit to the self-esteem. As the infomercials and gym fliers attack, pause and figure out what you really need and want for 2016.

Dream a little bit. What would you really like to see happen in 2016? I don’t mean win the lottery! I mean, what goals are you willing to fight for, sacrifice for, and come out of your comfort zone for…because that is the goal you want to put in the cross-hairs.

Patience 

Whatever goal is your focus, be patient. Much easier said than done! Habits are hard to change, but not impossible! The formula is consistency and time; we must be dedicated to transformation.

I recently heard a tip that I thought was phenomenal. We need to stop listening to ourselves and start talking to ourselves.  We need to be patient and understand that it takes time to change those negative tapes that run in the background of our minds, but we can challenge them and preach truth to ourselves and with perseverance, we can change.

The Pit of Comfort

I am a queen of justification! Who’s with me? I can always come up with “legitimate” reasons why I “need” something that I want. And, we seem to be quick to help each other justify actions counter to our goals too! Why is it so tempting to lure ourselves and others off the path of discipline that leads to success? My guess is that fear often drives that bus. Fear of failure, fear of expectations, fear of giving up vices, fear of disapproval of others, fear of discomfort…fear is huge. All of these fears add to the trouble we experience leaving our pit of comfort…whatever that pit looks like for us. You may be surprised what pit you are choosing to hang out in. Maybe you have set up house in a body that is too large because you believe it is shielding you from pain or fear. Maybe you cuddle with negative attitudes and depression buying into the lie that you don’t deserve anything else due to leftovers from past hurts or failed relationships. Maybe your soft landing is a pile of excuses you have claimed as truth as to why you can’t change fueled by smoldering crash landings from former attempts. Our justifications keep us in our comfort zone that is really more like a strait jacket. We believe we are protecting ourselves, but in reality we are hiding and hindering growth and maturity and abundant living.

A big pit of comfort for me has always been Diet Coke. As a teenager it was an allowable pleasure in my strict and conservative home, it didn’t have any calories so if fit in with my crazed eating habits, and it became a friend for when I felt down or wanted a treat. It never asked anything of me and it was consistent and unchanging. That habit grew over the years into a powerful force in my life, becoming an immovable part of schedules and budgets. This has been my reality but I am staring it down in 2016!

What is your “Diet Coke”? What is that thing that you are absolutely unwilling to give up even though you know it is not in your best interest? That my friend is where you need to aim your weapons to begin true transformation. There is a reason you cling to it, an attachment that is larger than just the object of your desire, your idol. Figure that out and you are on your way to meeting goals and creating the lifestyle you really want.

My challenge to you as this new year begins, is to find goals that challenge comfort. For me this means no more Diet Coke, yep, I’m done. As I talked this over with my husband to ensure he was willing to support my whiny and probably irritable transition, he asked me a valuable question: “have you thought about what you will replace it with?” Any plan for change must include survival strategies that are realistic. I can drink coffee and tea to ease the transition off of caffeine, but the reality is that I don’t want to replace the idol that Diet Coke became. I have accepted that this will be uncomfortable and I am determined to learn though the discomfort and embrace it instead of run from it. I pray and meditate when the cravings are strong. I speak truth to myself about the cravings, what do I really want…peace, relief, rest…Diet Coke doesn’t meet any of those needs! It is about being honest with our realities and being willing to be uncomfortable in order to achieve the lifestyle of health and freedom that we really desire. One of my favorite quotes from Jillian Michaels is “Get comfortable with being uncomfortable”. Dream big friends and achieve lasting success by stepping outside of your comfort zone!

“For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so that we can do the good things he planned for us long ago” (Ephesians 2:10, NLT).

 

The Instructions for Change

 Mental Health: 1^st Step

Many times I have pretended to believe silly things just to justify my choices. The reality is that even if I tell myself that “calories don’t count if no one sees you eat them”, the facts remain the same… they do. Working towards mental health is a critical piece of a healthy lifestyle that many people disregard completely. Challenging negative self-talk and recognizing distorted thinking are worth the effort as they reap priceless benefits including self-acceptance and confidence. As you practice eliminating extreme thinking and focusing on reality you will find that when hard times come you can not only withstand the trial but come out stronger on the other side!

If you are interested in changing a habit, reaching a goal, or creating the life you really want, you must embrace a healthy mental status. If you could poll professional athletes, concert musicians, Navy Seals, or whoever you look at and respect their determined discipline, I bet they would agree that winning the mental game is 2/3 of the way to the goal.

“Thinking, eating, exercise, in that order” Bob Harper                                                                                                                                                                                    

Emotional Health: BFF to Mental Health

I have struggled off and on with depression for most of my adult life. It runs in my family and I have come to accept it as just part of my bundle of genes. This acceptance does not mean that I accept the symptoms or allow myself to have a victim mind-set; it simply means I stop being frustrated by what is true for me. This practice, of accepting what is real, has come into play in many areas of my life. As I’ve gotten better at it I enjoy the benefit of freeing up emotional energy that is no longer spent feeling sorry for myself or wishing I was someone else. I then can focus on how I can adjust my behaviors and thinking to make my life the best it can be. Maintaining emotional health for me means staying on my antidepressant medication, staying in close and open communication with my husband, kids, and immediate family, applying healthy instead of self-destructive coping skills in stressful situations (working out and running are huge for me!), having fun and laughing as much as possible, and maintaining daily, quiet, personal time with God.

Keeping emotions in check can take a lot of work initially, but I’ve found that with practice I am much better at thinking and making choices based on facts instead of feelings. For example I can reason through my craving for simple carbs when I’m overtired and feeling down and decide to take a nap instead of indulging in a couple of doughnuts. Emotions are wonderful and I love that I’m an emotional person; I have just learned that I can dictate the control they have on my decisions and it helps so much with making healthy choices.

 Physical Health

The eating and exercise portion of a healthy lifestyle are often the focus, but I believe that the mental and emotional pieces are just as important…it has to be the whole package for lasting change! The best place to start with pursuing physical health is to evaluate where you are and where you want to be. Ensuring that you are being realistic is key for this step! Begin with small steps towards your goals understanding that what took years to develop is not going to go away in a matter of weeks or even months. Simple goals to begin with: drink more water, add more vegetables to your diet, get active for 30 minutes a day most days. Maybe you can’t run a mile, no worries, just start moving and build slowly and before you know it you will amaze yourself. Don’t wait to feel proud of yourself until you reach your goal, feel proud for starting and taking the steps to get there one day at a time.

GO! 

If you are wondering where to start or feeling overwhelmed with all you want to change to have the lifestyle you really want, here are step by step instructions for success!

1. Breathe.  Stop and get your mind focused on realistic goals for this day.
2. Choose one place to begin your journey and start today. It is too much to start with a personal trainer, change your diet, and stop smoking all this week…be patient with yourself.
3. Then follow through. Take one day at a time and as you meet your goal each day you will build trust in yourself to set new goals.
4. Be accountable somewhere.  Maybe your spouse, maybe your BFF, maybe a group…find what works for you and reach out.  Lasting changes take time and we all need support.
5. Avoid fads, extremes, or high-dollar solutions for change.  These types of choices breed short-term fixes, discouragement, and often create new issues.

This may not be what you hoped to see.  This is the “crock-pot” method and maybe you were looking for a “microwave” solution.  That is your first place to start then!  Understand that change takes time and placing unrealistic expectations on yourself will just push you further into the ditch with your wheels spinning.

 

 

 

Contact me at nowubhealthy@gmail.com if you want further information about mentoring and coaching available.

 

 

 

 

Just like driving a car.

I think most people would say that they want to be healthy if you asked them. Not too many people would voluntarily choose illness or disease, right? What would you say? Do you want to be healthy?

When I think about a healthy lifestyle I know it is composed of lots of small changes over a long period of time. Nothing is going to “just click” and you won’t find a switch to flip. Trust me, I looked! It takes time to break habits and create new ones. It takes time to learn new ways of doing things and let go of old ways. It takes lots of time to change thinking patterns and flush out destructive behaviors.

I was thinking about when I learned how to drive. I was scared. It felt overwhelming to me, all the rules, all the other cars out there, cops, flat tires, engine trouble, fluids leaking…I was a bit freaked out. But, I never considered not learning to drive. I wanted my freedom! So, I studied my book, put in my practice hours, took my driving class, and got my license. I wasn’t a great driver right out of the gate, but have certainly gained confidence as the years have ticked by. What I wanted trumped my fear and lack of confidence and I accomplished my goal.

I think often times people fail at living a healthy lifestyle, losing weight, or maintaining an exercise routine because they don’t know what they really want. Our minds are so complex and we are influenced by so many variables, if we don’t take time to do some self-analysis, we may not ever figure out why we say we want to lose weight, but continue to eat too much and buy our favorite cookies.

Back to learning to drive – I knew the facts. I couldn’t go where I wanted to go and become independent until I had a driver’s license. I couldn’t get a license until I crossed off all the items on the required checklist. I couldn’t cross off the items until I began studying and taking steps towards completing my driving classes. So, I pushed my fear to the back of the line and dealt with the facts.

It is often hard to just deal in facts when it comes to our health. What we eat, when, why, how active we are, if we are depressed or have physical restrictions, if we are workaholics or lazy, are all influenced by our backgrounds, genetics, and events that have occurred in our lives. Sometimes these events are because of our own choices, sometimes they are because of someone else’s choices. What we eat is often dictated by what our family ate when we were growing up or by our culture, as is our mindset about food. And so many emotions are linked to food! For instance, what you feel when I say “pizza”, or “funnel cake”, or “corn dog”, or how about “pot roast and mashed potatoes” is probably different than if I say “asparagus”, or “squash”, or “kale”. All of these factors make it difficult to deal in reality when it comes to our eating and health. We think we want to feel our way through our meal instead of calculate calories or servings of vegetables; and we think we want comfort and low-effort instead of sweat and sore muscles.

I want to challenge you to look at the facts and look at what you really want. What are you choosing? If you are overweight and/or not physically fit you are at much higher risk for heart disease, stroke, diabetes, joint pain, and the list goes on and on. You are also more prone to depression and sleep problems. Plus, the emotional toll of not liking what you see in the mirror is huge and often minimized in our minds. It affects our relationships and even our job performance.

Creating a healthy lifestyle is not easy, but has enormous benefits! Right away as you begin to change your habits you get to experience the joy of accomplishment and begin to trust yourself to try new things. There are many obstacles, but as you conquer them you acquire new skills as well as develop an identity that you create that is not dictated by your past. Who do you want to be? What is on the requirement checklist to get there? Get started!

Follow this blog for tips on all aspects of healthy living. I certainly don’t have it all figured out and I continue to fail and struggle my way along, but I am so excited about all the changes in my life over the past 10 years and a passion has emerged. It is easier to do this with friends…so friends…come along!